| 摘要: | 本研究根據研究者自身的經驗出發，在反身觀看理解與詮釋自我愛情經驗的同時尋找到自我的雙性戀定位。在文獻略讀後發現關於性傾向自我定位的理論觀點頗多，確沒有一個是讓研究者能夠完全套用及信服的，因此決定以質性研究的方法，尋找更多雙性戀者的經驗，以瞭解雙性戀者如何經由愛情經驗為自我找到定位。
經過立意取樣找到七位受訪者進行深度訪談，根據七個男女不同的受訪故事內容進行質性分析，得到以下結果：
雙性戀者在愛情經驗中的自我定位歷程，每個人因其經驗不同、背景不同、在意的事情不同，而有不同的歷程呈現，越是能夠對抗恐懼與污名的影響者，過程就能越順利。有的人會先將自己定位為同性戀，之後再修正為雙性戀，有的人則是直接定位為雙性戀。本研究透過七位受訪者的歷程，整理出一個自我定位的模型，此模型展現出個人內在經驗（包含愛情經驗及其他生活經驗）與外在標籤的交互作用，而個人的主動性則在歷程中的理解與詮釋過程中展現。此歷程也是當事人為了自我存在而奮鬥的歷程。
當事人將自我定位為雙性戀的決策過程有三，首先確認自己的經驗及感受是甚麼，再確認對這個標籤位置的內容是甚麼，最後確認自己是如何符合這個標籤位置的。而最後確認自己是如何符合這個標籤位置的步驟實為最關鍵的一步，當事人在這一步中會找到一個將自我經驗與標籤結合的說法，這個說法正說明了自我雙性戀定位的認知內容為何，當這個說法確認了，當事人也就能夠確認自己的定位。而從分析結果中發現，七位受訪者的自我雙性戀定位的認知內容有一共通性，即為：只要愛情存在，性別為何並不重要。
研究發現當事人找到自我定位之後，在心理感受上會覺得更自由、更自在、更自信、更快樂，以及對過往的疑惑找到解釋等，而在生活的影響上，也有當事人因雙性戀的污名也帶來某些負向的困擾，包括必須面對他人的質疑，並且向他們解釋。但基本上從訪談到的故事中所看到的，大部分是正向的影響居多。
而研究也發現華人文化的影響，並非出現在自我定位的歷程中，而是出現在當事人面對婚姻、向家人出櫃、伴侶性別的選擇、及生活方式的選擇上。
This research was inspired by the researcher’s own personal experiences of seeking bisexual identity. Various theories were explored regarding the process of seeking sexual identity. The researcher did not find any solid framework explaining this process. Therefore, data were collected focusing on seeking sexual identity process, and qualitative research approach was used to understand how the bisexual people identify themselves through their experiences.
Seven interviewees participated in the in-depth interview. Applying qualitative content analysis, the following results were found:
Because of their own personal experiences, backgrounds, and personal values, the processes of seeking bisexual identification are very different. Some people identified themselves as homosexuality at first and as bisexuality later. Others identified themselves as bisexuality from the beginning. The more successfully they fought against social prejudice, the more smoothly identification process they had. This study suggested a self-identity model of bisexual identification process. This model shows that there are interactions between individual internal experiences including love and life experiences and external label. The individuals interpret actively their internal experiences, and this identification process is a fight for self existence.
When people decided to identify themselves as bisexual, there were three identification stages. First, they had to understand their experiences and feelings. Secondly, they had to confirm the label. Thirdly, they have to explain how to fit the label. When they could explain to themselves how to fit the label, they would decide their identity. According the data from the interviewees, they believed: as long as love exists, gender does not matter.
When interviewees had more solid bisexual identity, they felt freer, easier, and happier and found some answers for their own past experiences. On the other hand, some people had to face the prejudice and questions of bisexuality. The positive influences are more than the negative ones.
This study also found that Chinese culture has the influence on bisexual people regarding considerations of marriage, coming out to family, choosing a partner, and life style. Chinese culture doesn’t influence the bisexual identity process. |
